GROUP SHOW, An Anthology of Irreverence OPENED December 8, 2018 AT Smith Hall, Syracuse, NY
Mourner's Kaddish (My Mother’s Yarztheit) — Performed on December 8, 2018.
Mourner’s Kaddish is recited daily by Jewish mourners for 11 months after the passing of a parent, and on their deathday, the Yahrzeit. According to Jewish Orthodox law, Kaddish is only recited in the presence of a Minyan, a quorum of ten men. Many forbid a woman from saying the prayer without the accompaniment of a man’s voice. My mourning taught me that as a woman, a Jewish woman, to speak my full voice is a radical act.
Mourner's Kaddish, performed on the night of my mother’s fourth Yahrzeit, marks my moment in time of refusing to be silenced by the patriarchal systems of Orthodox Judaism. For the first time, I recited this prayer alone, without a minyan. I repeated the prayer over and over as an offering to my voice. For an hour, I let myself feel rage, softness, and all shades in between as if to make up for lost experiences of reciting this prayer. The performance ended when I realized no length of time would give me back my silenced voice from my first year in grief.